The Beginning

Certain things have really stood out in my time working behind the obviously non-sterile counters of one of the local retail pharmacies (it rhymes with CVS...oops!). This is not to say that there has been anything that has failed to levy its own unique impact on how I view this ridiculous world of ours. There have been moments and events that have touched a wide array of emotional/psychological categories. I have experienced episodes that have evoked amusement, indifference, anger, confusion, annoyance, hatred, anxiety, boredom, and, on the somewhat rare instance, the utter desire to burn the whole thing down to the ground, force out a maniacal bevy of laughter, and extinguish the smoldering embers of my pharmaceutical hell with my sweet, sweet tears of joy...but I digress. I have selected some of my personal experiences and anecdotes for this very publication. For those of you who truly know me, you will realize that I post this mainly for myself because I do not really care if anybody else is interested...anywho, enjoy!

Hydrocododone:
I realize this is not an actual drug (I am a nationally certified and registered pharmacy tech). This all stems from a guy who would go through Vicodin like Skittles, and would force you to converse with him for a minimum of thirty minutes if there was a problem with him getting his favorite pain-reliever/liver-killer. He insisted on calling it hydrocododone! The guy has since died, but his legacy lives on in our world. Ne'er a day passes by without the mention of hydrocododone, and I fully believe the levity and amusement it brings allows us to partially hold on to what remains are rapidly-dissolving sanity.

What are those for?:
Besides irking me with their insistence upon ending sentences with a preposition, this question still catches me offguard. How many meds does one have to be on before they completely lose the ability to recall what they are taking? A good example would be the other day when a woman was picking up two scripts. She asked what she was getting. I tell her nitrofurantoin and phenazopyridine. She then asks "the question". Jeez! I politely explain to her the nitrofurantoin is the generic for Macrobid, an antibiotic used almost exclusively to fight cystitis (or what is commonly referred to as a urinary tract infection), and phenazopyridine is the generic for Azo, a urinary analgesic which limits inflammation in the urinary tract when combined with urine. She says, "Okay", as if it suddenly donned on her that she had an excruciatingly severe burning sensation every time she peed.

Co-pays:
No, we do not set the co-pays on your prescriptions. I am not artificially inflating the price of your meds for some sort of administration or service-rendered fee. I do not care how much you pay; in fact I would be ecstatic if everyone's scripts were $0 co-pay, that way I wouldn't get yelled at because they haven't met their deductible, or even more likely, their insurance sucks. Insurance companies do not make money by paying claims only from receiving your monthly payments. It should not surprise anyone that if they can find any way to weasel their way out of paying - they will. Contact your benefits department, and don't make me spend an hour on hold, and another thirty minutes talking to your insurance people to find out that the information is privileged and cannot be divulged to third-parties. I understand the economy is awful and the "stimulus package" gives you a meager $8 more a paycheck, but instead of blaming a person that has nothing to do with the percentage of the drug price your policy requires you to pay, maybe you should be glad you actually can afford medical and prescription coverage! If something were to happen to the other third of Americans without coverage we would be screwed.

Plan-B/Cialis/Levitra/Viagra/Birth-control:
Plan-B, known every-so-adoringly as "the morning after pill" consistently sells out in our pharmacy. This is utterly disturbing. There are so many people, in our supposedly advanced and informed society, having unprotected sex in and around the Katy area, that we cannot meet the demand of zygote-killing-drugs. And if another retarded, gothic teen asks me how to use it, I am simply going to call their parents and them give them a detailed dispensing schedule for the little apples of their eyes (take by mouth within 72 hours of intercourse 12 hours apart - it comes with 2 pills and a lifelong sense of despair and hopelessness, all for $47.96!). We also run out of birth control a lot; at least those people are not adding to gene pools. And don’t get me started on dudes and their...uppers...viva Viagra!

More to come later! I know you guys are so very excited.